Ilze Berzins

Good Friday we showed some nouveaux riche vulgarians from Calgary through our home and garden. From top to bottom. Every nook and cranny. Cupboards were opened, every inch inspected and my husband and I were both grilled about why we are selling, where we are going, where do we come from and who the hell are we.

“Are you Germans?” asks hyper overbearing female.

“No, we’re Latvian.”


Who are we indeed?

Very open guileless people. Ex-hippies. Yaw, we gotta toughen up.

Long story short: Vulgarians lowballed us and then were mad that we wasted their time.

Yaw, we definitely gotta toughen up.


5 Responses to “AS THE WORLD TURNS”

  1. Lara writes:

    Vulgarians? You gotta be kiddin’. I NEVER let Vulgarians into My home.
    I bet you don’t even know where Vulgaria is located, do you?
    It’s a tiny country nestled right behind Bulgaria. Even smaller than Luxembourg.

  2. Carl writes:

    But how do they get to Calgary?
    Well, of course by boat, but why and how do they enter the country?
    My cousin is Czech and she can’t get a visa.

  3. ilzeberzins writes:

    Hi Carl

    I know what you mean about visas.
    Latvians are supposed to not need visas to visit Canada but in reality they still have to jump through hoops.
    I understand Vulgarians have managed to slip under the radar.
    I know it’s not fair but what can we do?
    They are known to amass considerable wealth once they hit these shores.

  4. Dzintra writes:

    Ilze, you don’t seem to understand East European history and politics. Vulgarians and Latvians are arch enemies. Always have been.
    Your fatal flaw was acknowledging your nationality. Had you told the Vulgarians that you were simply refugees from Montreal they would have respected you and given you a fair offer.
    Sorry to be late telling you this.

  5. ilzeberzins writes:

    Dzintra! Dzintra! Know what I just found out?
    You can’t guess can you.
    So, here goes:
    These Vulgarians were looking for a residence for the Embassy of Vulgaria. No wonder they snubbed us. They like all that gilt and kitch, but I should stop. I could be accused of racism. Although that’s a weird take on the situations. These Vulgarians looked much like you and me. Who would have though?
    And how did I find out all this?
    People talk.
    Especially dog walkers as they cluster together, letting their mutts sniff each other’s privates and hump to show dominance.
    Anyway I hope there’s no major retaliation. To date there was only this one threat from Piotr.
    Wish me luck.

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