Ilze Berzins

Old Dogs and New Tricks:

Yip! Even an old dog can learn new tricks. Take me, for instance.

Hey! Not that I’m old or anything. Trust me. Still sometimes I feel the ol’ spunk flagging. If I were a guy, I’d say I can’t always get it up. Whatever.

 So here’s what I’m gonna do:


 The nice young couple last night (juvie Donald Trump/engineer and pretty thong girl) were brimming with excitement telling me about the BIDDING WARS.

I thought this was some sort of video game or something or the jousting matches they hold in England. But no. This was true life real estate instigated combat.

The couple had engaged in six such skirmishes. And lost.

But, at the same time, they seemed to be enjoying the whole phony setup.

Ah, the cocky assurance of youth…

 So thars the plan:

 Dress for success, stage a lavish wine and cheese OPEN HOUSE with live band and sexy wait staff AND LET THE SHOCK AND AWE BEGIN.


One Response to “OLD DOGS”

  1. ilzeberzins writes:

    You know what!?
    The thong girl and juvie bought a house on this very street. For 560K. There’s a Masarati in the driveway.
    And here they were pretending they were interested in my house. Just making sure.

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